I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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