That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
