Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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