just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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