i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
