Christians are straight up FREAKS
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
