do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize