he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
As shirtless as possible
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
