Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
