she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
