cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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