Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
