my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
