the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
