Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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