His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So many bounce houses so little time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
