Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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