I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
