Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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