oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm just crazy horny about you
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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