Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
