Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
