garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
we have officially lost it.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
