The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His hands were made for my vagina.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My feet surprised me
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
