You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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