apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
