guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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