It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
