You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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