So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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