Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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