just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
