dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I need to stop coming to work sober
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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