I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
how does that bad decision feel?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
