No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
