so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize