She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
