I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
