she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
should my penis look like a turkey
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
