THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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