i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
