well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
