Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
