i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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