he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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