My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
