You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
