everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
