he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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