let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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