Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
