it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
