She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
