So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
