Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize