Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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