If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
