What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
