I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize