If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
